Just recently I was a guest on an online discussion forum, and was asked why do women who want to get married hang on to a relationship with a man who is doesn't. I'm getting this question more and more, so I thought I'd share my response to this here:
When a woman wants to get married and her boyfriend doesn't, it's clear they want two different things. They need to recognize that. When it's not a match - it's not a match.
When a guy tells his girlfriend he doesn't want to get married she takes it personally. She feels rejected. If she stays in the relationship it's probably because she's hoping he'll eventually want to marry her, she will then feel accepted. However, if she were to evaluate her relationship and question, "Do I really want to be with this man who doesn't want what I want?" then she would feel empowered. Probably enough to move on.
Not wanting to get married, is different from not being ready to get married. When a woman announces her engagement, her friends beam with enthusiasm. When a guy tells his friends the news he usually hears, "my condolences." With this, he walks slower toward the aisle.
A woman needs to identify if her boyfriend simply doesn't want to get married, or if he wants to get married but is nervous about it . She needs to listen to what he says and pay attention to how he treats the relationship.
It shouldn't be about convincing a partner to propose. When both want to tie the knot (but feel ready at different times) then the couple needs to talk about their fears, as well as their hopes. And, work together to move the relationship forward.
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